Brock's World Cup 2014 Preview: for people who don't know soccer good and stuff.

Group A: The Group where the Host team is and such.

Brazil - Home to one of the sexiest populations on the globe and a rich soccer tradition.
Croatia - Central European country, doesn't sound very inviting and apparently home to some beautiful beaches on the Adriatic Sea.
Mexico - Dos a cero.
Cameroon - The nickname for the teams is the Indomitable Lions and that is just great.

Brazil and Cameroon make it out of the group stage because, we all want to see pretty women celebrate and, well, The Indomitable Lions.

Group B: I've heard of all these countries and at least two are good at "Football".

Spain - First team to win three consecutive world titles, horrible economy and at best the third most prominent European country of the 1800s.

Netherlands - Flooded itself in World War I to keep Germany from flaking the allies, really good at speed skating.

Chile - Benefits from being right next to Brazil and every other S. American country, mountain people and a delicious soup.

Australia - This isn't rugby or cricket, I think we're done here.

Spain and Chile make it out, with the Netherlands screaming, "Chile ain't played and SEC schedule pawwwl." and Spain has dominated the world stage recently.

Group C: Everyone has got a freaky private life.

Columbia - Drug cartels, heroine and cocaine, Columbia throws one hell of a party but there are always dead hookers afterwards.

Greece - The broke one of the group but Greece is always up for and orgy on the beach and that's good on you Greece. Gotta do you.

Ivory Coast - The schizophrenic of the group the Ivory Coast three over throws of the government since 1999.

Japan - I mean, hentiam man and they are proud of it so it's cool.

Dead hookers and hentia, Japan and Columbia out of the group stage.

Group D: Masters and underlings

Uruguay - Subservient to Brazil to 1828, Uruguay will have something to prove to the old masters this time around,

Costa Rica - Hasn't had an army since 1949, one has to wonder if it is too flippant about defense.

England - The old mother country England was once the ruler of a vast empire... it still has the queen to prove it.

Italy - Mussolini who was the worlds first bobble head.

England and Uruguay advance from group D because both sides can say no one believes in us and I think that may or may not be true.

Group E: Europe v. South America: The Reckoning

Switzerland - The world oldest and most professional meat peepers. Looking at the worlds pay stubs since 1300.

Ecuador - Ecuador is on the equator and use to suck at football. So the Vanderbilt of South America.

France - Britain's most hated cousin, savior of the revolution and but of all 21st century military jokes.

Honduras - France is next to Spain and Honduras was a Spanish colony and somehow this will help motivate Honduras. 

The crazy upstart Ecuador and the old mainstay France move on to the round of 16.

Group F: I don't think anything but soccer could bring these four countries together.

Argentina - Another former Spanish colony that has risen to soccer prominence, I think these countries should just their all powerful overlords and fathers.

Bosnia and Herzegovina - Franz Ferdinand was shot in their capital.

Iran - We hate them because they never thanked us for deposing their popular religious zealot of a leader. You're welcome Iran.

Nigeria - Former British colony, really took off after Britain started actively trying to stop slavery... go figure.

Argentina is a no-brainer and then... Nigeria come on down.

Group G: The group of death: or how I learned to start fearing and love the corruption of International Soccer

Germany - Machine like precision and the pursuit of perfection are the mark of a true German.

Portugal - Gotta sting to go back to a former colony and know that you should have never left I mean look at that ass.

Ghana - The thorn in American soccer's World Cup side. F@#k you Ghana.

United States - USA! USA! USA!

United States because manifest destiny and Germany because they gave us Schadenfreude.

Group H: Last but probably not, well maybe not altogether forgotten.

Belgium - Belgium the country German went through twice to attack France because it worked so well the first time.

Algeria - Sounds too much like Algebra to interest Americans.

Russia - Putin's pals play pretty Putinball.

Korea Republic - These are the non-crazy ones.

Belgium and Korea advance because Belgium knows a pain you never will and Korea is alright I guess for a country we never stopped technically fighting a war in.

Group A: Brazil & Cameroon

Group B: Spain & Chile

Group C: Columbia & Japan

Group D: Uruguay & England

Group E: France & Ecuador

Group F: Argentina & Nigeria
Group G: Germany & United States
Group H: Belgium & Korea

Round of 16

Brazil (Winner of A) vs Chile (2nd in B) - Match 49 - Brazil and Chile meet for a S. American showdown of epic proportions in what should be a heated and exciting match. 

Columbia (Winner of C) vs England (2nd in D) - Match 50 - England isn't expected to do much but this team surprises by making it to the round of 16 but the road ends here in the way so many English experiences do in the rain. Leaving the door open for Columbia.
Spain (Winner of B) vs Cameroon (2nd in A) - Match 51 - Spain is really good and although I will root hardily for the Indomitable Lions until the end.
Uruguay (Winner of D) vs Japan (2nd in C) - Match 52 - Japan came out of a weak and open group but meet a powerhouse in Uruguay and fall just short of a quarterfinal appearance.

France (Winner of E) vs Nigeria (2nd in F) - Match 53 - France wins one to take down the British empire because they've never forgotten what happened.

Germany (Winner of G) vs Korea Republic (2nd in H) - Match 54 - Korea succumbs to the same fate as Asian counterpart Japan and run into a more talented international squad than in the group stage when they meet with powerhouse Germany.

Argentina (Winner of F) vs Ecuador (2nd in E) - Match 55 - Another South American on South American blood match but this one finds the sudden upstart Ecuador at the mercy of the much more talented Argentina side. 

Belgium (Winner of H) vs United States (2nd in G) - Match 56 - USA! USA! USA! I'm going homer in the round of 16 because I can and this is one of the most talented US Squad. Belgium is a good side and could very well move on here too but... 

Quarterfinals

Brazil (Winner Match 49) vs Columbia (Winner Match 50) - Match 57 - Brazil continues it march on home soil against overmatched Columbia. 

Spain (Winner Match 51) vs Uruguay (Winner Match 52) - Match 58 - Spain's run of internatial soccer comes from the home continent at the hands of the surprising Uruguay side.

France (Winner Match 53) vs Germany (Winner Match 54) - Match 59 - Germany defeats France, once again, with master strokes and the world laughs in Schandenfreude. 

Argentina (Winner Match 55) vs United States (Winner Match 56) - Match 60 - The US made a good run at it but the talent on the Argentina squad is just too great. 

Semifinals

Brazil (Winner Match 57) vs Uruguay (Winner Match 58) - Match 61 - The host country loses starting riots all over Brazil and sends Uruguay to the final with a chance at a third World Cup.

Germany (Winner Match 59) vs Argentina (Winner Match 60) - Match 62 - An all South American World cup as Argentina defeats Germany with a chance at it's third World Cup.

Third Place Match

Brazi (Loser Match 61) vs Germany (Loser Match 62) - Disappointment for two very good international sides but a hell of a consellation game for those of us watching. Winner: Brazil

Final

Uruguay (Winner Match 61) vs Argentina (Winner Match 62) - One squad will win it's third World Cup the other will leave to their side of the continent with a bitter taste in there mouth. A continental grudge match leaves Messi and Argentina hoisting the Cup.